Shinjitsu
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: After Jinpachi confesses to Alice, Issei thinks about his own mixed feelings...


Disclaimer: Please Save My Earth is by Hiwatari Saki-sama.  
  
We dance and we play.  
  
Like children that play games until evening comes, the sun marks when they are finished. The day does not end until the light becomes moonlight.  
  
Assuming, yes, that the lonely moon would appear that cold night…  
  
Shinjitsu. (Truth.)  
  
by miyamoto yui  
  
I watched Jinpachi as he became more and more obsessed as the days went by. There was nothing I could do, of course.  
  
How was I, of all people, supposed to tell him that he should forget the past when I myself lived within its realm day after day?  
  
I've watched you laugh.  
  
I've watched you cry.  
  
Whether it was this lifetime, the next, or the one before, it was the same.  
  
It shouldn't have been, but it was.  
  
We were lying on a field of grass overlooking a river running by. I sat up and looked down upon the water flowing by while Jinpachi continued to stare at the clear blue sky above him with his hands behind his head.  
  
I got up because the awful silence was making me nervous and so I went by the slow-moving river and looked at my reflection. And for that moment, I watched myself.  
  
"Enju…" I said to my own reflection.  
  
Calling my own name was so strange and yet it made me feel slightly peaceful.  
  
My head tilted to one side as I found myself reaching out to the non-existent woman's reflection, now with the water holding onto my present one.   
  
"Nishigiori Issei…" I whispered as if it were some foreign language and by someone other than my own self.  
  
"Who you were then and who you are now are completely different people…" I turned around and stood up while watching the quiet Jinpachi in front of me. "…aren't they?"  
  
"Just what do you intend to do about this?" I finally said while my hands were in fists.  
  
I tried to be calm about it, but I could feel a sweatdrop falling from one side of my face while the inside of my whole being was shaking. Whether it was from fear of losing him again or angered at his rash actions, I didn't know.  
  
I just knew that we were both falling into a trap that we thought was fun at first, but now it was more than having the same dreams.  
  
We were living two different lives at the same time.  
  
And as with everything, that couldn't work.  
  
That wouldn't work at all.  
  
One must die.  
  
"You were the one who ran off and I didn't even understand what you said," he finally said as he slowly got up with pieces of grass falling quietly from his back. "I told her and it has gotten me nowhere."  
  
"Is this you as Jinpachi or as Gyo-" I started to ask, afraid of the answer I'd get.  
  
He interrupted, "Myself."  
  
"Is that really an answer to my question?" I asked as I turned around to face the water once more.  
  
But who was I to question about that, Jinpachi?  
  
Why am I thrusting my heart further, Gyokuran?  
  
Looking at my reflection, the waves of the water made me look as my eyes were ready to cry. Stupidly, a tear had slipped, but I yawned and rubbed my eyes pretending that I wasn't crying.  
  
It was dumb. To cry over this love that broke me over and over again.  
  
Once more in my head, I could hear my friend, a female in my last lifetime, say to me, "Are you really going? Is it because he's going?"  
  
I nodded slowly. "Yes…"  
  
"I've always admired you for that. If your heart gets broken-"  
  
I faced her and smiled. "I will not regret it. I never will."  
  
"I can't stand it anymore! I'm going to go insane," Jinpachi said in anguish. His hands were in fist as he shook his head. "Geez, I'm sorry I'm complaining to you, Issei."  
  
He started to laugh as he let go of his fists and put one hand behind his head in embarrassment. "How can you put up with me?"  
  
I glanced at him with my eyes saying what I couldn't say aloud.  
  
Because I love you.  
  
Remember what I told you before, Gyokuran?  
  
"Follow your own truth. Because wherever you go, I'll always be watching you even if I fade from existence."  
  
I then fully turned around and walked up to him. With half a lie, I sincerely answered, "Because you're my friend."  
  
No matter what happens…  
  
I tippy-toed as I held his shoulders with my heart hurting deep within my chest.  
  
…I will always be here behind you. Watching you.  
  
It was then that I kissed him on the forehead. When I looked at him, he gave me a shocked expression with nothing to say.  
  
Leaving him there in awe or disgust, I took my schoolbag into my hand, put it over my shoulder and walked away from him.  
  
Tap, tap, tap…  
  
"Of all the people you could fall in love with," that same female, college friend asked, "Why Gyokuran-san? He's so boring! He looks very nice, but then he's always out having fun. I don't understand why you like him so much."  
  
I shook my head. "I don't understand it myself."  
  
With a laugh, I folded my hands as she waved goodbye to me in the rain. I waved back as the evening was approaching.   
  
The moon was shining as I meandered to find myself in front of a café with that bookworm of a boy reading with a coffee cup next to him. He looked up to me and I smiled at him.  
  
With a small nod, I walked on trying not to stare at him as I always did. No matter where I went and I would find him, my eyes couldn't help but look.  
  
That was his charm.  
  
It was something I couldn't describe to anyone else.  
  
"He noticed me," I told myself, "That's why."  
  
I walked home as the moon was about to shine above me. And I wondered why I continued to fall for someone that learned to not care for me as much as he used to.  
  
"Issei…" I remembered him saying to me when we first learned our dreams were in sync. "…until we find out what this means, will you stick it out with me?"  
  
I blushed at him and nodded my head slowly.  
  
Again and again, I would fall for those eyes that wouldn't look at me at all…  
  
For this smile, I'd do anything to make it happen again.  
  
Anything but kill myself…  
  
Because I want to see you over and over again.  
  
I want to always watch over you to make sure you are happy wherever you are or whomever you're with.  
  
Even if you don't need me,  
  
Know that I will always need you…  
  
…Because you are my truth.  
  
Owari.  
  
--  
  
Author's note: Enju/Issei is my favorite Please Save My Earth and one of my favorite anime characters of all time. I didn't understand shounen ai until this anime, nor did I understand the depth of Issei's love in the anime until I read through the manga and watched 'Moonlight Anthem''s music video.  
  
I believe that Enju is a very strong character and that she does what she wants by being the most understanding and compassionate person she can be, even if it cannot always give her happiness. 


End file.
